Doubt? What
is it? It’s that feeling inside of each and everyone us that leads to not doing
things, making stupid decisions, and what leads us to comparing ourselves to
others. Doubt is a vice. Doubt leads us down a path that is often temporary as
we doubt ourselves more and more that word temporary changes to permanent. Much like you this vice has been drowning me for far too long and I wanted to speak
up and write this for others who may feel the same as I do.
When did my doubt begin? My doubt
began when I was first told I wasn’t as good at something as someone else. I
then began to compare myself and all my attributes to others. We have all done this and continue to do. We will always do through the rest of our lives. Why do we
do this? Well, for example: there are better looking people, professional
athletes, models, and those who are just more talented and better at our talents
than we are. But why do we always compare ourselves to these people? It’s cause
we feel deep within ourselves that we will never be good to enough to get to
their level. This all goes back to someone planting that seed of initial doubt.
But instead of comparing why don’t
we take a different spin on these things? Why don’t we look up to these people
and model ourselves after them. Learn how they train, what techniques they use
and examine what they do and take it and apply in our lives. If we do this,
then we can be much happier. We can also begin to kill that ever growing plant
of doubt within ourselves.
Doubt in my life has led to several other problems such as: anxiety, depression, compulsion and to giving up on a lot of things and never
giving myself the benefit of the doubt. Its lead to me to driving away friends, family.
Destroying relationships with people. All because of a seed that was planted, I
watered and nurtured over time. No one else does this to us, but us. We choose
to water or not water that seed of doubt. We choose to let it grow or we choose to kill it and rip
every single last root out of the ground.
Its lead to me the darkest places in my life because of my own doubt I
felt hopeless, alone and just all-around useless.
I don’t know where or
when my doubt started, but I know the roots are deep and they are incredibly
difficult to rip out. But I have learned that there is always a time to start
over, and pick yourself up and believe in yourself. It’s not easy and it cannot
be done alone. It takes good friends, a church leader (maybe), it takes work on
your part. Part of that work can be in seeing a counselor. It’s tough to suck
up your pride and find a counselor and start talking to someone you never met. For me it also for has taken our Lord Jesus Christ.
It’s hard to look within and see our faults. To see ourselves
from a different angle, but in the angle of your entire life, future
relationships, family, friendships and other aspects its worth it. The help you
gain and the skills you learn can lead you to a happier life. But you need to
put the work in. Nothing comes free, or easy in life. But if we are willing
then things can and will happen for you.
For me it’s taken friends, family, church leaders, a
counselor and a lot of time on my knees, a lot of time in the scriptures, and
time in the temple to get to a point where I start to understand and I am
beginning to feel changes. It’s not easy, anxiety, depression, compulsion are
real things and aren’t feelings to just bundle up. They are to be expressed and
to learn how to be dealt with. Since I
have started dealing with them I am happier. I have better focus in school. I
have better friendships.
But I know it’s a lot
easier to read to this and not doing anything, and to just say “yeah, I feel
that way. But I am not going to do that. “ I believe in you! HE believes in
you. Your friends and family believe in you. It’s time for you to start
believing in you again and start being happy once again. It’s time to accept
the things you cannot change, but learn how you can change the things you can. It’s
time to let go and be happy again! It’s time to learn to love yourself!
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