Unexpected Twists- They Happen- Embrace Them

It's the first at bat in a ball game.  0-0 count, you know the pitcher throws a

fastball, curve and a slider. You expect there to be a challenging fastball and for the pitcher to prove his dominance. But this at bat went quite differently. I was at the plate and this pitcher decided to throw me a knuckle ball. Something that I have never seen before or knew how to comprehend or what to do with. But I embraced it and tried my hardest to put the bat on the ball and it is a struggle and today I still struggle to comprehend and read the spin on that oh so tricky knuckle ball.

Now this story isn't about my life as a hitter or anything

like that buts its to tell you a little story about the best knuckle ball I was ever thrown and it began about a month and a half ago.

It was an average day, not much had gone on. I had worked at both my jobs and got caught up on homework and worked out and was feeling good. I went to hang out with one of my best friends and he suggested we go get frozen yogurt. I said "sure why not, seems like a good idea and I am in the mood for some of that." So we left and we got there and I see one of the girls that I had texted earlier that day and asked for her stats. I said a little bit to her, exchanged greetings and we both went on living the lives we were meant to live...at least we thought we would.

The next morning comes around. It's a beautiful Friday morning. She texts me about mid-day and we actually end up talking. I usually never text those who need to text me their stats back. But I did this time because she initiated the conversation. Then it flowed, like we had know each other for awhile. To this point we had known each other for a few months, seen each other at meetings and exchanged awkward greetings in the halls. But, we started talking more and ended up on a date the night she texted me.

However, here is the kicker. I was just about 2 months removed from my previous engagement and her she was just about a month removed from hers. Yeah, a little crazy right? Trust me it gets better. Keep reading.

At this point we ended up on the first date. I wasn't

thinking too much and was thinking this be a good way to get back out there and start over again and see what dating was like again. We went bowling, to a basketball game I was coaching, then to ice cream, then we went back and watched Fuller House at my place.(Great show, if you haven't already binged watched it. Go do it.) Anyway, after this date I ended up taking her home and texting a little bit and then the next day came around and we hung out again. By this point we had held hands and talked about how we wanted a relationship that moved slow and pretty much everything else under the sun that probably shouldn't come out on the first couple dates.

Next kicker, I have never been very emotionally available. It's one of my biggest weaknesses. Ask anyone who knows me. But with this girl, I was so comfortable telling her everything about me and letting her see my true colors. As I do this, most girls especially the cute ones like her flee. She didn't and that's when I knew she was special. After two days, 48 hours, I knew I wanted to be with this girl and I wanted to be with her for a long time.

Let's fast-forward a few days. We are sitting on the couch in my apartment and talking and then she says in all matters of joking "marry me?" I without hesitation said "yes." Why I did this? Who knows? But we instantly felt something go off inside of us. A burning in the bosom and her and I both being of the same faith and beliefs, we decided to take it to our higher power for an answer. We got on our knees together and prayed. We felt a confirmation come from that conversation. Then we decided to take it to the Temple together and then once again we felt confirmation that we should and supposed to be married. So, we went and bought rings. We decided from that day forward, we were going to be a very direct and open couple. We knew when things needed to be done, especially on the Lord's timing.

Later, she proposes to me in the cutest of ways. Yes, very unorthodox of the Woman proposing to the Man. But it happened and I said "yes". Of course I did! I had known this girl for less than a week and we were engaged to be married. Now this was a whirlwind and a knuckle-ball that was thrown our way. But we have gotten through the struggles and hardships because there have been many. We have gone through family struggles, sickness, arguments, anger, happiness, joy, hurt each-others feelings. But at the end of the day we know how much we love the other and how this relationship is a blessing for both of us. We have decided to be married this May, Just two short months after we have started dating.

Now, you may have some questions like "why get married

so soon?" "Aren't you too young to be married?" "Why not wait?" "How did you know to get married to this person?" " Are you sure this is what you should be doing?" There are probably more that I didn't mention here. But if you would like to know more please just comment a question and I would love to answer it. But let me answer these first.

Why so soon? This seems to be the biggest question from

everyone.  We feel we need to get married for reasons that I can't post on here. But we feel like we need to be married sooner because we are both ready to start this journey of life together. We know each other well enough to be married to one another. We love each other greatly and we have felt a distinct plan and prompting from our Father in Heaven to do this and make this step.

Aren't you too young to be married? Don't get me wrong 21 years old for myself and 18 for my beautiful bride to be. But however in our culture or being Mormon, we find it appropriate to marry young once you find the right person and are ready to do so. We are encouraged by our leaders to not put off and to embrace it and to go for it when the opportunity arises. We are encouraged to follow the spirit in these decisions.

We have done our very best to do this. We have spent

countless time on our knees, reading the scriptures, counseling with religious leader and countless hours in the temple making sure this is correct. In the end, we know this what we need to do and we know the other person is the person we are supposed to be with. We have felt the spirit overcome us during several of our prayers and confirm the truth of our choices to us.

Why not wait? This question is most commonly followed by

either "You have the rest of your lives" or "You have the rest of eternity together.." Again this is one of those that we have received sacred feelings about that we have chosen not to discuss with our closet of family and friends.  But we often oppose the question right back "Why wait?" Yes, we  have a wedding to plan and its so much fun and stress. We have things to plan for school and other things. But what it really boils down to is our sacred feelings. But also, just the love and feelings we have had.

We struggled and are still battling different dates because

of family. But we originally decided April 9th. Eh, didn't feel good about it. Then we thought why not July after our semester is over? Eh, didn't feel good about that. Then we prayed, and we felt suddenly good about May 14th and then we checked with family and things. Eh, couldn't work out. But now we are between two days and those are May 6th and 7th. (If you are reading this and weren't aware, I am sorry. You will be informed shortly of exact details.)  But in the end, we are doing this on the Lords time and not ours. We are following our plan that he has for us and we wouldn't want it any other way.

The last two I will end with "How do you know you're supposed to marry this person?" and "Are you sure this is what you're supposed to be doing?"  I know this is the person I am supposed to be marrying because she makes me want to be a better man. She pushes me to greatness. She is the woman of my dreams. She is the woman the Lord has told me I will be with. There isn't one thing I don't love about her. Perfections, imperfections, weakness and strengths. I love them all. I love and care about her unconditionally. She makes me feel a way no other woman has ever. I know for a fact that she would say these same things about me. But that'ts why I get my own blog so I can brag about her.

To answer the second question. I would say HECK YES! I have no doubt. My faith and her faith are in our Savior and our God. We know this is what they want and we are going for it. It's funny because the saying is true, " you know when you know." You really don't know until you have the one. You really don't know that you have hit a home run until you've done it. Because if not, you may just be settling for a base hit.

Thanks for reading our story. Please further questions reach out to us. Talk to us. Comment, share and spread our story. There is more to it, but we want to get this out there for all to read and all to see. To help clear confusion, hurt feelings and others anxiety as well as ours.

Love, peace and hair grease!

"Get Out of Bed"- It Needs To Happen

What's the hardest part of your day? Often times for me, its getting out of bed each and every morning. Why is this though? How can we "get out of bed" even when its the last thing we want to do? I have been thinking about this for a while now and I would like to share the insights I have gained through conversations and pondering on this topic. I think I have an idea and I would like to share it with you.  

Lets begin with the why. If we think about this literally, we often don't want to get out of bed because its warm and comfy and we are still tired. We don't want take on the challenges of the day ahead. But lets look at this another way. We often don't want to "get out of bed" because of a few major reasons: we feel life is too hard or not worth living, we have no hope, or we enjoy the complete feeling of solitude while in "bed."

1. Life is too hard or not worth living. All of us, including myself have felt like this from time to time. We feel like everything is just too hard: our job, our schooling, our relationship or family problems, or whatever it may be going on for you personally.Then feel like we don't make a difference, like nothing we do matters. we physically feel like nothing(s). FALSE! Everything that you do matters to someone, everything you do can change your life or someone else's or even both. YOU ARE SOMETHING! 

2. We have no hope. Life gets tough sometimes. A lot of the time life is really hard. School is hard, work is hard, everything in life is challenging. Life wasn't meant to be easy, if it was where would the fun be in that? We would be bored, we wouldn't have chances to be creative, to change, to do new things. Even thought the colors and life may seem dull right now, I promise it does get better. Things will look up!

3. We enjoy the complete feelings of solitude while in "bed." We often get to this state after much wallowing in ourselves. As well as not wanting help or not wanting to get out "bed". We can get this way after accepting the lie that things don't get any better. We then get to the point where we think we have it harder than anyone and no one understands us. But honestly, if you look back and remember what you have been through to this point, is this current trail something you can't get through. Is it really impossible? Is it worth putting yourself through what you are? I want to say no because I KNOW you can do it and get through it. 

Now the question arises "how do you "get out of bed?"" Well it starts with YOU! It starts with YOU having hope and believing in change. It then takes acting on that hope and belief to fight the urge to "stay in bed." It then takes "getting out of bed", asking those we love and trust to help us, it takes being vulnerable, trusting, and a leap of faith. It then takes everyday work and a tough fight to keep this battle going. As much as I wish it was a one day thing, its not. Its a day, if not multiple times a day battle that may seem impossible at times. We have to literally "get out of bed", we also have to physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually stop being complacent and "get out of bed." But I know "getting out of bed"  and fighting this battle is more than worth it every single day. Your future self will thank you! 

Every single day is a new day. A new day filled with new opportunity knocking at your door. A new day to believe in hope. A new day to get out and do something more for yourself or for someone else. A new day to renew our hope in life. A new day to believe that life is worth living, because it is. 

In my life, what has helped me most is faith in Christ and God. I know all my readers may not believe in such and I accept you for you and your beliefs. But for my readers that do have these beliefs, this faith has gotten me through the hardest things in life and situations that I never wanted  to "get out of bed" again after. But His power and His mercy and His glory can literally help us rise above all. I can testify of such.

A quote from Jeffery R. Holland an Apostle from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints said "don't you quit! You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon.Some come late, and some don't come till Heaven. But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, the come. It will be all right in the end. Trust God, and believe in good things to come." 

DON'T QUIT, KEEP WALKING, KEEP TRYING. HAPPINESS IS AHEAD. 

Even though things seem dark and hopeless now, this feeling doesn't last. Keep "getting up" and keep improving everyday and look for the brightness in life. Things do and will get better! Keep fighting and keep going with the journey. 

Thanks for reading, feel free to share and comment!

Change Your "Socks"- It Can Be Done

Socks are something we wear on our feet and we wear them daily. We change them daily because we get them wet, sweat in them, they feel gross and whatever other reasons. But if we don't change them our socks often become gross, hard, crusty and most importantly stinky when we take off our shoes. Now this is just one big analogy but why did I use socks? Well socks are changed daily, and we must also change daily. If we don't then we become gross, hard, crusty and stink when we do "take off our shoes" or in reality open up to someone.

Changing our "socks" daily, this is no easy task. But its a task that needed every single day in our lives if we do not change daily for the better than we are only hurting ourselves. But how do we change? As much I wish  there was cookie cutter mold for change, there isn't. Then if  there was I wouldn't have any purpose in writing this blog. But I do know that each of us, have something every day we can change, a habit we can begin to break, something we can do better, a way to live better and happier. But how do we do this? I would like to share what I've done and things I have found that helped.

First, I took a stand against myself. A stand against negative habits and things that were holding me back from happiness. For some this could be a deciding to make lifestyle change,  planning and doing something we had been avoiding, planning to forgiving someone, calling for an appointment with a therapist/counselor or combination. It could something totally different. What ever you need to do, get up and make a plan, make a goal, then you will start to feel change happening and happiness coming into your life.

Second, I took action. I did what I planned. Started to met my goals. Took the steps I needed to start to see the change and be happier. This part of the process for me was by far the hardest. I want to share and experience of one of the hardest things I ever had to do: forgive my birth mother. One day, I felt ever so strongly by the spirit to call and forgive my birth mom for everything. For all the pain, sorrow, mental torment and emotional torment she put me though. I couldn't shake the feeling. I knelt down I said a prayer. Dialed the number and called her.  Skipped the exchanging of greetings and forgave her not only with words, but I truly forgave her in my heart. Since this experience I have been happier. I look back and think of how I was living with that pain and hatred in my heart for so long. It had truly been hindering me. I challenge you to make that call, send that text, make that plan, set that goal or DO whatever YOU need to do to free yourself and be happy.

Lastly, I never looked back. I kept my chin up. I kept faith in God and Christ. I also keep the motto "Do better, be better" in my mind at all times. In the words of President Gordon B. Hinckley from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints "Try a little harder, to be a little better." I would just like to challenge you to add the word "everyday" to the end of this magnificent quote.

Now, I am in no means perfect. I am still learning how to be better, and do better everyday. I struggle with different trails in my everyday life. We all do. Yours and mine are different however. But I do know that we need to change our "socks" daily. If we don't our "shoes" will stink and our lives will be harder and the only person to blame is ourselves. I challenge every reader of this blog, to change for the better. Get on your knees and pray for the strength to do. Then get on your feet and go and DO! Then while you're doing, don't give it up! The battle is not easy. Its long and tumultuous.  I can promise that change isn't easy. That life is not an easy battle. But, I know you can do it! HE knows you can do it! Your friends and family know you can do it. I promise that it will be worth it in the end!

Thanks you for reading. feel free to share this blog with anyone and everyone. Feel free to comment other topics you would like to read about.

Perspective- It can be changed and overcome

How many times over the course or your life have you said "I have never looked at it that way" or "I wish I could see things from your perspective?" Personally, I have said these two phrases along with several very similar to them. But what is perspective? In my opinion it’s subjective and difference for everyone and in every situation. But in everyday life, there is a best perspective and worst. 

What is that best perspective? If I knew the perfect answer, I would give it to you. But I have found that it all boils down to two angles. 1: happiness and 2: a long term perspective. But what do these mean?

Happiness, joy, bliss, love. These are feelings of happiness. But what if a situation sucks? For example: like a relationship ending or a passing of a loved one or failing a test.  Well, these situations may stink and may lead to tears being shed, time of your knees pleading with the Savior, talking with your best friend or even a combination of these and more. But isn't there happiness all around still? YES, ALWAYS! When any of these things happen we have things to fall back on: our family, our friends, exercise, our hobbies and other things that make us happy that we don't notice. For example when a relationship ends: we now have time to spend with our friends, exercise more, and better ourselves. It's all about how we look at the situation in the moment. We often miss out of the biggest opportunities of growth because we are focused on the bad. 

But all these situations last only a moment. Pain, sorrow, guilt, failure all last only a small moment in the long term. However, we often let these feelings dominate our lives later down the road. I am very much guilty of this. We often let one failed relationship dominate our next one. When a relationship fails, we get so torn down that we are afraid to start over. We don't want to go on, we want to be bitter and hate idea of dating. 

 But in the long term, there is something better. We let that mindset of failure after a test dominate us in our homework. When that was just one test. The next we can do better on. A wise man once told me "fail quickly." We let the sorrow and pain of losing a family member dominate us for years to come. (While in this situation it is okay to miss them and think about them.) But we often don't think enough about the fact that we will be with them once again.

What I am trying to really get at is the timeless saying "when one door closes, another one opens" and I would like to add to it and change it: when one door closes, another one is waiting for us to knock upon and open up. We have a lot of life to live, it’s not worth dwelling on the times of hardship and pain. I challenge you all to look within, to think of where your perspective currently is. Then change it in a way(s) so that you can be happier and grow.

Thanks for reading!

Jewell Young